I’m still working on my spiritual homework assignment from Deacon Ron. Yes, the one he gave me several months ago. This is the one where I’m supposed to figure out my journey on the road (a recurring theme in my writings). The barrage of questions went something like this:
What kind of car are you driving?
How fast are you going?
Are you on the highway or city streets?
Are you alone or do you have passengers, and if so who?
Where are you going?
Why are you going?
Do you know where you’re going or are you lost?
Did you plan out the trip or just get in the car and start driving?
It went on from there but you get the idea. I started writing a fictional short story in which the main character goes out for a drive and ends up in an encounter with The Gremlin and a Figure In White who may or may not be Jesus. I’m not really working and re-working this story the way I normally would. I’m editing for errors but not for content. I don’t want to over think the whole thing because there are so many important little details coming out in the raw version and I don’t want to risk losing them in re-writes. Writing usually comes easy to me but this one story has come in paragraphs or disconnected snatches of dialogue. I keep working on it because I have the sense that it may well be the most important piece I’ll ever write, at least for my own personal journey.
Two things strike me as I read my own crazy story. For one, I read way too many Stephen Kings novels as a teenager and for another, that this character is representative of me. That is more than a little disturbing to me because as she meets these two figures, she immediately recognizes The Gremlin. She knows him. She knows his voice and his movements. She knows he’s evil and that he’s very powerful. The Figure In White, she’s not so sure about him. This could be Jesus. This should be Jesus in the illogical logic of this story but she doubts that possibility. She hesitates to approach him or to seek his help. She also considers that he may be just some wacko. How can she tell if he’s Jesus or not? She’s trying to deal with The Gremlin on her own terms rather than crying out for help despite the fact that she’s faced with such a powerful evil creature.
I realize I do that in my real life all the time. I always know when The Gremlin in my head is working overtime. But Jesus is working overtime in my life too. I just fail to see it so often. I question what I know to be true. I discount what I should hold precious. Like Mary Magdalene at the tomb, I don’t recognize Jesus even when He is right in front of me, even when He talks to me. It’s not until He speaks my name that the veil of doubt is lifted from my heart. So many times I see His work in my life after the fact. Hindsight is always 20/20 I guess.
I don’t know how my vision quest-like story will end yet, but I do know I’ll be paying close attention to these characters. I know I still have much to learn from them.